When I hear a favorite song in public, it invariably makes my pathetic excuse for a day. But I like music that's not on the radio, so for me, that doesn't happen too often. Nickelback-loving Tony, on the other hand, must get his musical jollies every 10 minutes, right?
Now, I know what you're probably thinking. And no, it's not that I have some esoteric, holier-than-thou, fancy-schmancy taste in music. In fact, some of my favorite artists are some of the most popular artists of all time - Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, the Beatles, Wu-Tang Clan, and the one, the only, Notorious BIG.
As you can see, I'm not exactly Mr. Indie McSkinnyPants. About as far out in left field as my tastes get are your MF DOOMs, or your Madlibs, maybe even your Black Keys. With tastes like those, I'd probably be branded a mass-media communist stooge by the Pitchfork Elite.
But you're not going to walk into a Dunkin Donuts and hear "Niggas Bleed" blasting through the loudspeakers. You just aren't.
So if I'm at a bar, and somebody happens to put on the instrumental version of "Little Wing" off of the Hendrix box set, I'll probably shit my pants out of sheer delight. Ditto "Wu-Tang Clan Ain't Nothin' Ta Fuck Wit."
It just makes me happy to hear a song I love, in a setting I love (Jaeger Bombs! Jaeger Bombs! Jaeger Bombs!), played by a complete stranger. Not only does it tickle my cheap-bastard bone to hear a favorite for free, but it positively jerks off my There's-Hope-For-The-Universe Bone to know that somebody out there respects such fine lyrical dexterity as:
Nigga, you ain't got to explain shit/
I been robbin' mothafuckas since the slaaaave ships/
with the saaaame clip and the same four-five/
Two point-blank, a mothafucka's sure to die/
That's my word, nigga even try to bogart/
Have his mother singin "It's so haaaard..."
Those are some devastatingly beautiful lines, aren't they?
So here's what I want to know. Is the feeling that overwhelms me when "Oh Shit" by The Pharcyde starts playing on the juke box the same feeling that the ignorant masses get to feel 5 times a day?
When Stefania DiGinzo walks out of Sunset Tan and into Starbucks, only to hear, OH MY GOD!, Ne-Yo's Miss Independent! playing faintly over the PA system, does she get to experience that same unbridled orgasmic joy that I feel when "Dog Shit" inexplicably comes on at some wannabe hipster bar that I've been dragged to?
This is how I picture a typical day for Stefania, queen of horrible taste in music.
[INT. PINKBERRY]
Poor, depressed frozen yogurt selling bastard: Can I help you ma'am?
Stefania DiGinzo: OH MY GOD! Is this "Disturbia?" I LOVE this song!
[INT. SUBWAY]
Down on his luck sandwich artist: You want that toasted?
Stefania DiGinzo: OH MY GOD! Is this the newest Flo Rida?
Down on his luck sandwich artist: Toasted?
Stefania DiGinzo: What's it called, "In the Ayer?" I LOVE this song!
Down on his luck sandwich artist: Chips and soda?
[INT. GYNECOLOGISTS OFFICE]
Dr. Pervenstein: (while examining gaping, diseased vagina with miner's helmet) Just how many people did you sleep with in the past year, Ms. DiGinzo?
Stefania DiGinzo: OH MY GOD! Is this "Womanizer?" I LOVE this song!
If that's how it really goes (and I suspect it is), if Ms. DiGinzo gets to feel that joy 20 times a day, I'd like to sign up for a Flowers For Algernon-style lobotomy ASAP.
Actually, fuck it. Who am I kidding? On this salary, I could barely afford a back-alley brain abortion.
I guess I'll just have to settle for the ol' crayon to the brain. If it's good enough for Homer, it's good enough for me.
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4 comments:
I was at a wedding recently, and they played the new song by Kid Rock, you know, that Warren Zevon/Lynyrd Skynyrd abomination. I was laughing my ass off, wondering what the hell the DJ was thinking when this thirty year old dude behind me goes "YESS!! I LOVE THIS SONG, IT WAS MY ANTHEM FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER"
So to answer your question. Yes, people with bad taste in music are happy all the time.
But what if their bad taste in music is a love for depressing shit? Would they be happy that the sad music was playing?
This bores me
@DGF - You rotten rat bastard.
@dandy - Then they'd be emo kids, and hence, just as worthy of our scorn.
@anonymous - Fortunately for me I don't know that song. I'm at the old man stage in life where I just don't know the top 20 songs anymore. I had to look up the Billboard Hot 100 just to write this article. No joke.
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